Never mind Todd Boehly's ridiculous north against south Premier League showdown, a hysterical mascots versus kids clash is the way to go.
Known as Pee Wees vs Mascots in the United States, the final pre-season NFL outings have a history of turning into anarchy during the half-time interval, as 6ft+ mascots across the nation line up to face children in a chance for vengeance.
Enraged by all the spillages and constant requests for photographs, the mascots have an opportunity for brutal demoralisation, which plays out into the greatest of sporting occasions. Sack off your disrespect for relegation, this is the Americanisation we need in this country!
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The traditional half-time NFL viewing would make a far grander spectacle than yet another exhausting end-of-season affair – as well as providing some celebratory cheer.
Think Gunnersaurus trying to two-foot someone on the halfway line or Fred the Red attempting the 'siuuu' celebration.
HAVE YOUR SAY! Should the Premier League introduce a kids v mascots game? Let us know in the comments section.
It appears the ground-breaking idea is already favoured by Premier League fans.
"It is my fervent opinion that the Americans themselves vastly underrate their own masterpiece. Who would have a Pro Bowl when you could have this instead," commented one supporter, taking aim at the north v south equivalent match in America.
"West Brom’s boiler mascot wouldn’t take any prisoners," joked a second fan clearly in favour of implementing a similar showpiece in the Premier League.
"Can’t lie if I watched Boilerman two foot a small child it would be the highlight of the season," harked another Baggies supporter.
"A career for [Boris] Johnson where he would actually excel," jibbed a fourth in reference to the former Prime Minister's historical no-nonsense approach when competing against children at rugby and football.
"I enjoyed watching this. Haha! Lets get this over to England. Pronto!" commented a fifth.
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